Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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