bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
