My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
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I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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