eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
