wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
