so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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