Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
