Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
