Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
