Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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