He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
