Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
