Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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