I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
