They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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