Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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