Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
