He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
