dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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