I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
