we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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