guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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