Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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