After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
