laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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