No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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