I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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