So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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