i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
