she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
