I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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