got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
