you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
