i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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