Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
