I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
