Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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