yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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