If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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