i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think your dad took our porno
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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