thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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