no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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