i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low