She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.