Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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  (703): i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice. http://tfl.nu/s321
  Replies (15) Good night (5250) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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  (508): well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today http://tfl.nu/xvys
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (1833) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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  (773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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  (815): i never told you how having a club foot got me laid http://tfl.nu/v7bk
  Replies (10) Good night (3848) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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  (360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke
  Replies (18) Good night (5226) Bad night (560)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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  (603): I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels. http://tfl.nu/ciic
  Replies (28) Good night (3412) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4469) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
  Replies (7) Good night (2389) Bad night (1501) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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  (859): i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far. http://tfl.nu/eadn
  Replies (13) Good night (3369) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.

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  (719): Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon. http://tfl.nu/ncwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2032) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him

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  (443): Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him http://tfl.nu/oz4m
  Replies (7) Good night (2577) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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  (360): We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent. http://tfl.nu/utkw
  Replies (8) Good night (2878) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

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  (501): I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho. http://tfl.nu/d92o
  Replies (16) Good night (1233) Bad night (441)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.

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  (678): Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool. http://tfl.nu/6mtz
  Replies (10) Good night (1374) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

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  (773): I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off. (847): i think the last part kind of negates the first part there http://tfl.nu/g7hy
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (230)

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