I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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