Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.