why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...