just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
