So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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