Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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