At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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