I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
