How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wear drunk well.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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