the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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