pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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