how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
