4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
