Don't EVER smell your tampon
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
