sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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