Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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