i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
