physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
