I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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