He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
