His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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