omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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