we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize