no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize