nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
someone threw a dead crab at me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This baby is an asshole
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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