I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
