Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
