I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
