I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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